Haul video rant!

Good Gawd! I just got through watching a bunch of haul videos on Youtube, and I won’t be doing that again. I just love haul posts on beauty blogs, so haul videos should be 10 times better, right? No, they aren’t.

Too many of these people think we want to hear every random thought that passes through their minds instead of checking out the HAUL. It takes them a good 5 minutes of rambling on about nothing before they show us the first product. Then instead of showing the product, we get to see the top of their head. Uh yeah. They set the product down on the desk, and sit there staring at it, so our view is the top of their head….or, they hold the product up for a second, then turn it around so that they can see it and read it, so we see their hand on the back of the packaging, while they take their time reading, or more likely misreading the writing on the package. Half the time they don’t even know what they have bought.

Here’s a few tips for making better haul videos, first edit, yeah edit ALOT. You could probably get away with deleting the first 2 to 5 minutes of your video. We don’t care that you had to drive real slow to the store because it was raining. We don’t care to hear about what your mom is doing, or your dog, or roommate. If you start the video with, “Uh today I’m doing a haul video, um yeah. *long pause* It’s a video about stuff I bought at uh…*long pause*. I bought at uh Big Lots. Yeah I went shopping at um…the store, uh….Big Lots and bought some stuff there. So I’m doing a haul video for you about that stuff that I got at uh Big Lots. It’s okay, not the best stuff like MAC, but it’s fine and I bought it. *long pause*” You can delete all of that, we don’t want to watch you nervously deciding what to say for 2 minutes straight.

So my second tip is practice what you are going to say a few times before you even turn on the camera.

My third tip is go through your purchases, read the packaging, know what you have bought, and what price you paid for it, what it regularly goes for. Do a little research before you turn on the camera. It’s painfully boring watching you stumble through the video knowing nothing, you don’t know what to say, you don’t remember where you went, you don’t know what products you bought.

Another tip, write a list of the things you bought and plan to show. You could even write a script to read.

We don’t have to see you at all. In fact, we don’t want to see you. I hate to break it to you, but you are a stranger on the internet to us. So sure, you can start out with a little introduction where you show yourself to the camera, but after that, we clicked on the video because it said it was a HAUL. We want to see the products, not you floundering and flubbing and stammering and stuttering, not the top of your head, not your hand on the back of a package, THE PRODUCTS!

Last tip, turn your camera on your haul, use a finger to point out the product you are discussing. If you followed the rest of my suggestions, then you will know the products or read a script and be able to tell us about those products, pricing, etc.

If you are so vain that you must show yourself on camera, then at the end, use the products and show us how that eyeshadow, blush, mascara, lipstick etc looks on you. Or show yourself while also showing swatches.

Sorry if I’m seeming mean and catty, since I don’t like to think I am mean and catty normally. I just feel like I have lost an hour of my life that I will never get back by watching these sad excuses for video hauls. I did see two good ones. One was a very young girl whose excitement was contagious. She had a great personality and for the most part kept the camera on the products while giving good descriptions for what she bought, what she paid, what she saved, her plans for using the products etc. The other was a woman who it turns out is a professional news anchor. She’s used to being on camera, so is good at cutting to the chase and telling you what you came to hear.

I think I will stick to checking out hauls on blogs and avoid Youtube from now on.

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