Lewd, Crude, Rude Marketing

I had an interesting day online, I spent almost the entire day reading Scrangie, and I am shocked that I never bothered to add her to my blogroll, and will shortly remedy that error! Anyway, for some reason this morning I decided to go way back and read her early blog posts, they are amusing to say the least, and some of them are laugh-so-hard-you-will-snort funny!  I’m telling you, you really oughta read her old posts if you need some amusement for a couple hours or a boring Sunday morning.

Then I read this, “Misa’s fall collection: I’m only human” and near the end there is a risque advertisement for the collection…

Misa Ad Posted at Scrangie

Misa Ad Posted at Scrangie

Which Scrangie and her readers all agree was a WTF moment on Misa’s part, but I’m thinking Misa paved the way for Illamasqua’s strange and crude product naming, which only a couple of years later is no longer “WTF” but fun and cute. Misa was ahead of their time!

Why do I feel like I have to say that I’m no prude, nor am I easily offended? (And you’ll notice on this post people felt the same and said so.) I think that’s kind of the point both with this ad and with Illamasqua naming polishes “Load” and “Taint”.  I think both corporations are marketing for the younger crowd who will be titillated by this ad and those names, while trying to offend older and/or prudish women. It’s a wink at, “We’re not your mama’s or grandma’s cosmetic company.” That’s actually what I find offensive, there is no reason why they have to try to offend anyone by choosing vulgar names or suggestive advertising.  I mean, the only way to be youth oriented is by being immature? Isn’t this on the level of grade schoolers telling fart jokes, using swear words, and sneaking peeks at Playboy? We’re not supposed to be grossed out by spooge and crap on the tips of our fingers, or ads suggesting women sucking balls, or else we’re just prudish old ladies?

This kind of reminds me of the article in Nails Magazine, “Move Over Bloggers.”   Editor Hannah Lee goes out of her way to insult nail bloggers, while saying the point was to encourage nail techs and other professionals. There was absolutely zero reason to insult bloggers who have very little in common with nail techs, they do different work on nails and use different products. She created an “Us vs. Them” situation, it had very little to do with offering guidance, suggestions, or encouragement to nail techs; and more to do with spitting on bloggers to feel superior. I think the Misa ad and Illamasqua’s names are similar, it’s an affront to certain people, and others are meant to ridicule their prudery while feeling superior instead of, or as well as, marketing to those others. But why be insolent or offensive if you don’t have to be? Why deliberately choose advertising that will turn off part of your market, or names that will disgust some of your market? Just like Lee bit off her nose to spite her face, some nail bloggers are subscribers and the magazine features work by nail bloggers, but she wanted to insult and ridicule them for no obvious reason. Especially in this terrible economy, why would anyone want to discourage buyers for your product???


A ~Not~ Beauty Related Post

One of the things I hate to see is people talking on their cellphone while driving. I have seen some near crashes, and a man talking on his cellphone rear ended my husband at one time.  Thank God no one was injured. Even though you do not need your eyes while talking on the phone, your attention is not where it should be. I’ve even noticed this when I am driving in an area I don’t know well, when I need to be alert to navigate, watch for signs, and follow directions, that I must turn off the radio. That divides my attention and slows my reaction time when I need it.

The Bangalore Traffic Police (India) created a very graphic set of advertising posters about the dangers of talking on cellphones while driving. The two I have below are from Advertolog, an advertising website where I learned about this ad campaign.

Talk them dead

Talk them dead

Interesting twist here, instead of targeting the drivers, it targets the people on the other end of the line. It’s very clever once you think about it. Those drivers couldn’t be talking on their cellphones while driving without someone willing to speak to them. If you know your loved one is driving, get off the phone. Do you really want to hear the screeching of the brakes, crunching metal, and screams? If you do not, then your call can wait until your loved one is safely parked.

Here is the Advertolog post that this post is referencing.

Haul video rant!

Good Gawd! I just got through watching a bunch of haul videos on Youtube, and I won’t be doing that again. I just love haul posts on beauty blogs, so haul videos should be 10 times better, right? No, they aren’t.

Too many of these people think we want to hear every random thought that passes through their minds instead of checking out the HAUL. It takes them a good 5 minutes of rambling on about nothing before they show us the first product. Then instead of showing the product, we get to see the top of their head. Uh yeah. They set the product down on the desk, and sit there staring at it, so our view is the top of their head….or, they hold the product up for a second, then turn it around so that they can see it and read it, so we see their hand on the back of the packaging, while they take their time reading, or more likely misreading the writing on the package. Half the time they don’t even know what they have bought.

Here’s a few tips for making better haul videos, first edit, yeah edit ALOT. You could probably get away with deleting the first 2 to 5 minutes of your video. We don’t care that you had to drive real slow to the store because it was raining. We don’t care to hear about what your mom is doing, or your dog, or roommate. If you start the video with, “Uh today I’m doing a haul video, um yeah. *long pause* It’s a video about stuff I bought at uh…*long pause*. I bought at uh Big Lots. Yeah I went shopping at um…the store, uh….Big Lots and bought some stuff there. So I’m doing a haul video for you about that stuff that I got at uh Big Lots. It’s okay, not the best stuff like MAC, but it’s fine and I bought it. *long pause*” You can delete all of that, we don’t want to watch you nervously deciding what to say for 2 minutes straight.

So my second tip is practice what you are going to say a few times before you even turn on the camera.

My third tip is go through your purchases, read the packaging, know what you have bought, and what price you paid for it, what it regularly goes for. Do a little research before you turn on the camera. It’s painfully boring watching you stumble through the video knowing nothing, you don’t know what to say, you don’t remember where you went, you don’t know what products you bought.

Another tip, write a list of the things you bought and plan to show. You could even write a script to read.

We don’t have to see you at all. In fact, we don’t want to see you. I hate to break it to you, but you are a stranger on the internet to us. So sure, you can start out with a little introduction where you show yourself to the camera, but after that, we clicked on the video because it said it was a HAUL. We want to see the products, not you floundering and flubbing and stammering and stuttering, not the top of your head, not your hand on the back of a package, THE PRODUCTS!

Last tip, turn your camera on your haul, use a finger to point out the product you are discussing. If you followed the rest of my suggestions, then you will know the products or read a script and be able to tell us about those products, pricing, etc.

If you are so vain that you must show yourself on camera, then at the end, use the products and show us how that eyeshadow, blush, mascara, lipstick etc looks on you. Or show yourself while also showing swatches.

Sorry if I’m seeming mean and catty, since I don’t like to think I am mean and catty normally. I just feel like I have lost an hour of my life that I will never get back by watching these sad excuses for video hauls. I did see two good ones. One was a very young girl whose excitement was contagious. She had a great personality and for the most part kept the camera on the products while giving good descriptions for what she bought, what she paid, what she saved, her plans for using the products etc. The other was a woman who it turns out is a professional news anchor. She’s used to being on camera, so is good at cutting to the chase and telling you what you came to hear.

I think I will stick to checking out hauls on blogs and avoid Youtube from now on.